Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Weight Control

Why is this even an option? I thought I was doing my heart a favor by eating Quaker oatmeal everyday in those stupid little packets. Now I have to ditch the "regular" instant oatmeal and get this shit. Hey, Quaker, do me a favor and just make your regular oatmeal healthy for me, okay? Does that seem reasonable to you? If it doesn't, then get out of the oatmeal business.

Sunday, May 17, 2009


Michael Vick should not have to go out of his way to apologize to anyone. He apologized by going to prison. If he's allowed to continue his career in the NFL, the only thing he needs to do is win.

Also, to PETA: please don't waste your time organizing protests at NFL football games. Use your resources to do something useful for animals instead of trying to destroy Michael Vick (the damage is done).

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


I read an article a while back about our ability to focus. Say you're studying something and you stop to answer your cell phone. In addition to the time it takes you to finish your phone call, it takes an additional 15 minutes for you to regain the concentration that you had before you decided to check your cell phone. So, if you spend 3 hours at the library, but stop to check your phone 4 times, then an hour of that study time is spent trying to regain focus and concentration.

I have this buddy that's addicted to his cell phone. Looking back on the last few times we've hung out, I can't recall enjoying the experience all that much. What I remember most is how often he kept checking his cell phone. Clearly his attention was on whomever was texting him at the moment. If you're so interested in who's texting you, then go hang out with them. I've made a decision to spend my time here with you. So, engage in the experience. Let's chat about the music, talk about the food, dish about chicks, whatever. I'm pretty sure this is what Eckhart Tolle talks about in The Power of Now. Life is short and precious. Why would you do anything half-assed? This is the thing I hate about cell phones: they have the potential to steal away significance and meaning from the simple joys of living. Technology has its place, but I don't want to live a life at a distracted 65%, and I don't want to hang out with people that are just about half way present. In college I had a professor that would take the first five minutes of every class to get everyone to quiet down, meditate, and "arrive" at class, to rid themselves of the concerns outside that particular classroom. I can't tell you how incredibly useful this was. I don't do this enough, but I think I'm going to start doing it more often.

Attention is an incredibly valuable commodity. Use it wisely on meaningful experiences with people that appreciate your presence.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Bigger is Better (Half of the Time)

Americans love things that are either obnoxiously huge or unusually tiny. On the same menu at Jack 'n The Box, you can order an Ultimate Cheeseburger, which is fucking huge, or you can get an order of Mini-Sirloin Burgers, which are cute, bite sized. Whens the last time you went to a restaurant that didn't offer "sliders?" Do you remember when having a huge ass boom box was the baddest thing ever? Now, the smaller your iPod gets, the cooler you are. Obviously, as technology advances, we're able to get more power out of our gadgets and they now take up less space, which is a good thing. But, in general, if you take something huge and make it small (or vice versa) you'll have a hit. Mini-Coopers, I suppose, are popular, or, at least as popular as Hummers were in the 90's. As long as you can create a novelty factor with the size of your product, you'll be able to convince a nice chunk of consumers to buy what you're selling.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

The Fortune Cookie Incident

I had Chinese food for dinner tonight. This was my fortune:

My initial response was to bash the quality control over at the fortune cookie factory. How could they let something like this pass through enough levels of approval to end up on my plate? I finally calmed down and steadily grew fond of the simple elegance of this advice: take what you have learned, and put it to good use. This may kill the romance of future encounters, adventures, and business opportunities, it's just more useful. Perhaps the Chinese food eating public is better off getting more pragmatic messages from their cookies. "Don't eat this cookie," for example. Or maybe, "Don't spend more than you earn." After all, if people can be silly enough to expect satisfaction from their fortune, maybe they'll be silly enough to heed the advice.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Mind Games

I was trying to write "5/4/09" on a document, and this is what came out:

I'm debating whether this is a sign of dyslexia or, for lack of better terminology, a case o' the Monday's. Either way, I'm fascinated.